


I've Never Been So Surreptitious, So Of Course You'll Be Distracted When I Spike the Punch

by douxpink



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Childhood Memories, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I almost made this a Yullen fic, I just love Cross and Young Allen's Master and Apprentice days, Reminiscing, Snow, Sorry Not Sorry, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking, WE NEED MORE CROSS AND ALLEN CONTENT, also, but my love for Allen and Cross overpowered my love for Allen and Kanda, fun fact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-12 00:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18000341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/douxpink/pseuds/douxpink
Summary: The Black Order is having a party in honor of their last night at the European branch before moving headquarters, and after a series of unfortunate events, the punch gets spiked. Allen, not in the mood to party and feeling slightly suffocated by all the commotion, steps outside for a breather and reflects on some events in his life, both recently, and in the past. He then decides to make a phone call.A dgm one shot. (This work contains some mentions of suicide as well as suicidal thoughts so just a heads up for those who are sensitive to that subject matter.)





	I've Never Been So Surreptitious, So Of Course You'll Be Distracted When I Spike the Punch

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I wrote this up yesterday because I've just recently picked up D.Gray-man again and have been obsessed with it! I really love the relationship between Allen and Cross in particular, and I love reading fics that reflect on their Master and Apprentice days. Because of that, I guess you could say that I was inspired to write a little something something that involves friendship, drunk exorcists, secrets/memories, an attempt at humor, and suicidal thoughts because wHy thE FucK NOT! (I'm also a sucker for angst if you couldn't tell heheh)
> 
> Also, please leave Comments/Kudos if you liked it (since I spent hours writing this lol) and if anyone wants to obsess over chapter 231 of dgm with me,,,, then I'm down to chat with yoouuu! Ok thank you that's all, and please enjoy! (●´ω｀●)

 

 

  ❝Even the people who once fought for others tend to get weak and eventually 'give up' and lose interest in the worth of fighting any longer.❞ 

― Osjusn CC

 

* * *

 

The cafeteria was alive with chatter as the exorcists of the Black Order were celebrating. The lights were strobing and the music was loud as the scientists and exorcists alike danced amongst one another. The folks at the Black Order wanted to have their last hurrah all together since they’d be moving headquarters due to the recent damage the facility faced, along with a few other circumstances. Okay so maybe throwing a party in the midst of moving wasn’t the _best_ idea, but Komui demanded it happen in order to lighten the general mood since everyone seemed to be feeling tense due to the recent events involving a certain exorcist and his compatibility with the Noah’s Ark. Ever since then, everybody was feeling a bit on edge so why not throw a party and get everyone messy drunk? Well the 'getting drunk' part ended up being a total accident, but they’d all might as well embrace the chaos at this point, right?

 

It had happened moments before the party was scheduled to start, when a few people were left to finish setting up the final touches. To be specific, Miranda Lotto had been pouring chips and various other finger foods into some snack bowls that were set up on a few of the tables, along with punch and other refreshments, when suddenly a stray balloon came out of nowhere and was headed right for her face. Unable to react fast enough, Miranda was knocked into the table and had ended up nudging a full bottle of vodka straight into the punch bowl.

 

“AHHH NOO!” She screamed, after finally coming to her senses, and frantically waved her arms around in the air as if that would magically remove the alcohol from the punch. Trying to remain calm, Miranda reached over to grab some napkins, to at least clean up the table where some excess alcohol had spilled, but in doing so, she’d somehow managed to knock a few more alcoholic beverages into the punch without even realizing. So unlucky..

 

When she’d felt confident enough in her ability to clean the table, she looked up to notice that she’d really just made everything ten times worse. She was prepared to go into hysterics again, but this time she decided to think clearly. With a jolt she was reminded of something. _‘That’s right! I can just use my innocence to turn back time on the punch! Ha, what a perfect plan, Miranda!’_ She gleamed triumphantly at herself, mentally giving herself a high five, but before she could even activate her innocence, a swarm of exorcists came streaming in through the front doors of the cafeteria to join the, now officially started, party.

 

With all these people around there was no way that she’d be able to right her wrongs using her innocence since that would cause too much attention. Therefore, she knew she had to confess her mistake before anyone underage got anywhere new the punch bowl. Miranda had never really been a self-assertive person, though. Instead, she tended to wallow in her own self-pity and suicidal thoughts. ‘ _No! You have to be confident!’_ She chastised herself for thinking negatively and with a hint of determination shining in her hollow eyes, Miranda straightened herself up and turned to make her way towards an authority figure. Before she could, however, she’d somehow slammed straight into the chest of a man.

 

Frazzled, Miranda instantly began sputtering out nervous apologies. “Ah, p-pardon me! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you coming! It’s all my fault please forgiv-”

 

“Miranda, calm down, there’s really no need for such apologies.” A kind voice interrupted her and Miranda opened her eyes, which she had closed on instinct, and glanced up to see her fellow exorcist Noise Marie smiling down at her.

 

“M-Marie, hello there.” Miranda blushed a bit, forgetting about the punch crisis for a moment, and suddenly lost all of her previous determination in place of shyness.

 

Marie laughed gently before reaching over towards the table to get a few drinks for the two of them. “Here, have some punch.” he offered with an outstretched hand and Miranda immediately accepted the offer. _For a blind guy he sure knew how to pour a glass of punch!_

 

“Ah t-thank you!” She quickly gulped the liquid down before she remembered what her purpose was. (A bit existential, eh?) “AHHH THE PUNCH!” She yelled abruptly, but was barely heard over the blasting music.

 

“What about the punch?” Marie asked curiously, taking a sip from his cup. “It’s quite good, right?.”

 

Miranda stuttered trying to think of what to do, but in her hesitation, she watched as Lenalee and Lavi clinked their drinks against one another and downed the alcohol-spiked liquid. She looked on in horror but was frozen in her spot, unable to do anything about the predicament. Instead, she just looked on as more and more people began to drink the punch as if everything tasted normal, and it was all slipping through her fingers.

 

“Miranda?” Marie’s voice broke though Miranda’s panicked state and she quickly collected herself, accepting her fate.

 

“Ah, I’m sorry it’s nothing really. I just got distracted is all hahah.” She laughed nervously but felt like she was going to start crying so she quickly filled herself another cup of punch and tried to enjoy the party before it slipped into even more chaos.

 

* * *

 

Allen sighed as he mingled around the party with Timcanpy fluttering at his side. He had been experiencing very contradicting feelings as of late and he wasn’t really feeling up for a party at the moment. After the news had broke around headquarters that he was connected to the Fourteenth, Allen couldn't pretend like the constant stares and rumors weren’t getting to him. Even though he was used to being seen as a freak show, it still hurt to feel like your comrades were slowly distancing themselves for you and constantly glancing back at you to make sure you hadn’t completely turned.

 

Maybe it was all the commotion and the loud music, but Allen was feeling suffocated at this party and it didn't help that a certain CROW was keeping a watchful eye on him the whole time. Allen pretended not to notice, but it was hard not to. He could practically feel Link’s calculating gaze on him as he sipped on punch and pretended to listen to what his friends were talking about. He needed to get out somehow. He just wanted some fresh air.

 

Turning towards Lenalee, Allen lightly grabbed her by the elbow to get her attention. He figured if he was planning to go off somewhere he’d at least tell one person so people didn’t think he had betrayed the Order and run off to join the Noah or something.

 

“Lenalee.” Allen rose his voice a bit over the loud music and she turned to him with bright eyes, a drink held loosely in her hands.

 

“Yeah Allen, what’s up?” she asked with a smile swaying a bit to the music, a light dusting of red sat atop her cheeks.

 

Allen easily forced a small smile on his face as he spoke, “Oh well I’m just going to step outside for a bit. Distract Link for me?”

 

She stared at Allen for a bit, letting the words sink in, before she winked, knowingly. “Sure thing Allen!” She smiled brightly, grabbing Lavi who was trying to get someone to start a dance battle with him but failing. Allen nodded his thanks as she pushed through the crowd towards Link with Lavi in toe.

 

Allen would wait for the perfect moment before slipping out.

 

Lavi was protesting as Lenalee dragged him along, but he didn’t really do much to escape her iron grip, seemingly going with the flow of the party’s atmosphere. It also didn’t help that he was plastered on punch flavored vodka.

 

Once they made it to the wall where Link was leaning against, without taking his eyes off of Allen, Link spoke up with an exasperated sigh, “What is it?”

 

Lenalee almost couldn't hear him over the loud music but she smiled before pushing Lavi forward. “Woah did you hear that Lavi? Link said that he'll challenge you to a dance battle!” Lenalee exclaimed and Link looked up at her with a glare and a retort already on his tongue.

 

“I never sa-”

 

“hUH, IS THAT SO, TWO SPOTS?” Lavi cut him off, practically yelling into his face and getting into a defense stance for their dance battle. Link looked up at the Bookman Junior in disgust, about to argue, before Kanda beat him to it, annoyance evident in his voice.

 

“Geez quit yelling stupid Usagi, everyone can hear you just fine.” The samurai grumbled, leaning against the wall a few feet away from the trio. This of course got Lavi’s attention as he quickly turned his head to yell back at Kanda, effectively blocking Link’s view of his charge in the process. “HEY YOU WANNA GET ON THIS DANCE BATTLE ACTION TOO? WELL WAIT YOUR TURN YUUUU-CHAANN~!”

 

Kanda tensed. “Don’t fucking call me that.” he growled while simultaneously reaching towards Mugen.

 

Link was equally aggravated trying to get Lavi out of the way, but Lenalee proceeded to step closer and even spilt a bit of her drink on Link in the process.

 

“Ooh silly me! Haha I guess I spilled a bit on you, huh?” She giggled sheepishly and leaned down to try and pat the leftover drink residue off of Link’s pants which caused the CROW to tense uncomfortably in embarrassment.

 

This display also didn't go unnoticed by Komui who was standing several feet across the room already calling for Komlin III to destroy Link for touching his precious sister Lenalee, but was being held back by Reever and a few other members of the science division.

 

Lenalee straightened up before downing the rest of her punch and giggled at the argument between Lavi and Kanda. “Quit arguing, you guys! I wanna see Link and Lavi’s dance battle already!” She teased which caused the usually stringent CROW to turn an even brighter shade of red.

 

And with Link taken care of, Allen slipped out of the cafeteria with Timcanpy trailing behind him.

 

* * *

 

Allen still felt suffocated walking down the long corridors of the Order. He easily got lost in large places like this, even though he’d lived here for so many months now. Since they were moving though, Allen dreaded having to get used to a whole new headquarters.

 

With a sigh, Allen pushed through one of the side doors that lead outside and just after opening the door, he felt like he could finally breathe. Stepping out, he instantly felt the cold air of winter hit his face as he noticed the ground was covered in a blanket of white.

 

 _‘It’s snowing, huh?’_ He mused, glancing up at the sky to see some flakes swaying towards the ground from the clouds.

 

Allen exhaled, causing a puff of hot breath to dissipate into the air, and when he went to close the door, he noticed Timcanpy trying to follow him out.

 

“Ah no, sorry Tim. You need to stay inside.” Allen spoke softly towards the golem who seemed to protest the decision. “There’s something I need to do alone, okay?” He forced a small smile on his face which just made the golem not want to stay inside even more, apparently seeing straight through the strained expression his master was giving him. However before the golem could do anything more, Allen had already pushed the creature inside and had closed the door.

 

Timcanpy fluttered a bit behind the door, before zipping away through the halls of the Order in search of a certain someone.

 

Sighing, Allen rubbed his gloved hands together before slipping them into his pockets. His left hand knocked against his phone and Allen walked a few steps into the snow before taking it out. There was a reason he needed to get away from everyone else and that reason involved his phone. He had been thinking about doing this for a while now, but he never really had the time alone to actually do it.

 

Maybe he had started to feel this way after Mana died, maybe it started even before then when he lived at the circus, but recently the thoughts had become unbearable. Allen never liked to throw his burdens on other people, so he tended to keep everything he was feeling behind a mask. He didn't want his friends to worry about him, so instead, he smiled. He smiled and told them everything was okay even though deep down, he knew it wasn't. It hadn't been okay for a while now, and the lurking presence of the Fourteenth in his mind at all times wasn't making things easier.

 

Allen walked further into the snow, his phone now bundled between his two gloved hands. He fumbled a bit with the object, contemplating what he was about to do. Unconsciously he walked a bit closer towards the cliff’s edge that the Order was situated on. Allen remembered the trek he'd gone through just trying to climb up the mountain to get to the Order in the first place, and he tilted his head forward to gaze down at the seemingly endless pit before him. It was such a long drop.

 

_Just one push._

 

A few rocks and clumps of snow crumbled a bit under his foot as he stepped a bit too close to the edge, and he watched as the minerals plummeted down towards the pit below. Taking a step back, he laughed dryly at the situation. ‘ _How pathetic_.’ He thought before glancing down at his phone again. Dammit.

 

With a resounding sigh, Allen turned away from the ledge and clicked on his phone. He typed in a phone number as he made his way over to one of the benches outside, and dusted away some snow as his finger hovered over the ‘call’ button.

 

Allen paused. Was this a good idea? Was what he was doing considered weak? He couldn't even rely on his friends to spill his secrets to but instead he’d trust an anonymous person through the phone? _How lame.._

 

Allen looked up at the building before him. All of his friends, his comrades, those that he had begun to see as family, were up there right now partying. And instead of joining in on the fun with them, he was out here.

 

With a twitch Allen pressed the call button and held the device up to his ear.

 

He was nervous.

 

The phone rang softly and a puff of wind blew through his ivory white hair to better display the red pentacle scar that marred the left side of his face.

 

Then the dial tone ceased and an automated voice spoke through his ear.

 

“You have reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Our lifeline program works with a network of more than 150 crisis centers across the country. Please hold as we direct you to the closest center to your location.”

 

Allen felt his heart beat a little faster and he almost wanted to laugh. _‘Sure, put the vulnerable, suicidal kid on hold, that seems like a great idea.’_ He thought bitterly as he nudged some fallen snow with his boot anxiously.

 

A few seconds later someone picked up.

 

“Hello, thank you for reaching out. How may I help you?” A friendlier voice than Allen expected answered the line and he was a bit taken aback, expecting some monotonous person who’d rather be at home than trying to stop some random suicidal teen from offing himself.

 

Allen froze. He had no idea what to say. I mean he knew what he wanted to say, but he’d never actually said it out loud before. He’d always kept his feelings to himself so to say he felt a bit uncomfortable voicing his suicidal thoughts out loud, was kind of an understatement. He was terrified.

 

“Hello?” The voice spoke into his ear again, probably about to hang up if Allen didn't say anything soon.

 

“I-um hello.” Allen answered shakily and he fumbled a bit with the buttons on his exorcist jacket nervously.

 

“Yes hello there, sir. What can I help you with today?”

 

Allen could hear the smile in the other person’s voice so instinctively Allen pulled his mask on and smiled as well. “Ah forgive me I’ve never done something like this before.”

 

“There is no need to apologize sir, I’m here to listen.”

 

“Yeah about that..” Allen paused feeling a bit embarrassed, “I-I’ve never really talked about any of this before so I guess I’m not quite sure how to start..” He finished lamely and exhaled into the air dryly.

 

“That’s okay, sir. Just think of me as one of your friends. You don’t have to feel uncomfortable talking to me about anything, okay? Again, I want to clarify, I’m here to listen and help you through whatever it is that lead you to call this number.”

 

“So, for starters, why did you decide to call this number night, sir?”

 

 _‘How much time do you have?_ Allen wanted to say but kept his mouth shut. This person on the other line probably knew nothing of exorcists and Akuma, so if Allen was really about to spill his entire soul to this person, then he’d need to do a bit of filtering.

 

With a dry laugh Allen spoke into the line, “Well, if I’m being completely honest, there’s nothing about tonight in particular that compelled me to call.. I guess you could say I’ve been uh- feeling this way for a few years now..” He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly and heard the person on the line hum as if urging him to continue.

 

“Um well, I guess I could start at the beginning, if that’s okay? I don’t want to take up your time or anything-”

 

“Oh no sir, please. I’m not being put out so don’t worry about my time. I want to listen to you so please continue. Listening is my job after all.”

 

“Ah r-right sorry um well..” Allen paused. Geez why was it so hard for him to just talk about his past? Fuck it. He was just going to spill everything and not think about it. It would be fine. This person wasn’t going to judge him, right? And even if they did, well screw them! He didn’t care. Right? Agh dammit why was he getting all worked up over this. It doesn't even matter. He’s fine.

 

“I’m fine!” He accidentally blurted out into the phone and instantly felt embarrassing regret.

 

“Sir?” the person on the line spoke softly and Allen could practically hear the warmth dripping in their voice through that one word. For some reason it made his stomach do a somersault.

 

“I-I mean..” He stuttered out, turning his head to the side, “Geez whys it so hard ta just talk about this..” He grumbled, dropping his usual polite speech and for a second he thought he heard the voice on the other line laugh. He was about to protest, but the voice beat him to it.

 

“It can be hard when you're placed in a situation where you feel vulnerable, so it’s understandable that you're having a hard time expressing your feelings. It also seems to me that you have a lot of walls up, so just for night, just for this phone call, would it be the end of the world if you knocked one down, even if just for a few minutes to get some things off of your chest? Didn’t your parents ever tell you that it was unhealthy to keep everything to yourself?”

 

Allen tensed before dropping his head, causing his bangs to cast a shadow on his face. _Parents, huh?_ I guess that was as good, and harsh, a place to start as any. And sure he had built a few walls and created a few masks to hide behind along the way, but with good reason. He hated feeling like a burden.

 

The line was silent.

 

Snowflakes continued to fall from the sky, twirling towards the ground like ballerinas across a stage.

 

Then he spoke, voice cold.

 

“My birth ‘parents’” _If you could even call those people parents,_ “abandoned me after I was born. They thought that I was cursed because I was born with a deformity on my arms so just like that they cast me aside without a second glance and sold me to a travelling circus. I guess I was the perfect addition to their freak show but instead of performing, I was made to work and do the odd jobs around the grounds that no one else wanted to do. Because I was young, I got pushed around a lot by the adults there and people tended to take advantage of me a lot.” He laughed dryly, “and I couldn't even do anything to defend myself or else they’d kick me out. It's not like I could even fight back anyways because my arm was paralyzed at the time. So instead, I just took the beatings and generally kept to myself most of the time. I didn’t have a name either. They called me Red.” _because of my arm._ He left that part out before continuing.

 

“This one clown in particular, Cosimov, hated me. He was a jealous, borderline sadistic, person so whenever he felt like his spotlight was being threatened, he’d take it out on me.” _As if it was my fault the shitty clown didn’t get enough laughs.._ “But life at the circus wasn’t always bad.” Allen smiled before continuing, “Things started looking up when I met Allen. He was only a dog but he was the first one to show me kindness that I could remember. He-he licked my hand and, even though I couldn’t feel the sensation, it meant a lot to me at the time.” Allen’s smile dropped, “I was sad when he died.. It was Cosimov who beat the poor dog to death.

 

“Even though I cried, that was also the time when I met Mana.”

 

* * *

 

_“Is it dead?”_

 

_“Yes, he’s dead.” A clown that Red had brought dinner to a few times spoke solemnly, eyes downcast towards the ground._

 

_“..He’s covered in bruises.” the boy stated and crouched down to peer into the dog’s grave before giving a resigned sigh, “I bet Cosimov did it, cuz the audience liked you more an’ him. He hates it when people are better’n him. That guy, he has no talent except when it comes to doin’ stuff like this..” He finished with an annoyed grumbled._

 

_Now it was the clown’s turn to fill the silence._

 

_“He was an old dog. He probably wouldn't have lived much longer anyway.”_

 

_…_

 

_“So what, you not gonna get revenge?”_

 

_The clown chuckled, “Well if I did that then I’d get thrown out and then I wouldn't get paid.”_

 

_Red grumbled, ‘what a strange clown.’_

 

_“I am a new comer after all,” the clown continued, “after Christmas tomorrow I’ll be moving on somewhere else, somewhere new.”_

 

_“Huh, is that right..” Red looked straight ahead, uninterested in the clown watching him carefully out of the corner of his eye._

 

_“Who are you anyway?” The clown asked, intrigued._

 

_“Che I do odd jobs around here.. I even brought you dinner before.”_

 

_“Ah well I have a bad memory of faces.” Was the clown’s response._

 

_There was a lapse of silence before the clown erupted into a fit next to him, “Oh my! Look at you, you're covered in bruises as well!” He spit into his hand before rubbing it against the boy’s face._

 

_“GAH WHAT THE HELL THAT’S GROSS! GET YER SPIT OFFA ME!”_

 

_“It’s disinfectant.” The clown protested which just made Red madder._

 

_The clown become serious again, “Did Cosimov beat you up?”_

 

_“S-SHUT UP!” The boy looked away, clearly aggravated._

 

_“Don’t you have any friends?” The clown pushed._

 

_“I SAID SHUT UP! Che when I grow up I’m gettin’ the hell outta here as soon as I’m strong enough so I don’t need some useless friends.” The boy pouted with a glare which gave the clown and idea._

 

_Turning towards the boy, the clown made the funniest face he could muster and stared at the child before him._

 

_“What are you doing?” The child dead-panned, unamused by the clown’s antics._

 

_“What? You don’t think this is funny?” The clown questioned, a bit shocked at the lack-luster reaction._

 

_“Ya sorry, but no. I don’t like clowns and stupid stuff like that. In fact, I hate em’!” The kid grumbled._

 

_“Well then, if we’re listing things that we hate, then I hate big crowds and children who don’t laugh.”_

 

_“Whatever..”_

 

_…_

 

_“Hey,” The kid spoke up, looking down at ball placed atop the dog’s grave, “Aren’t you gonna like, cry or something? This dog, he lived with you for a long time, right? Are you even sad?”_

 

_The clown fabricated a noose out of nowhere and proceeded to hang himself from a tree nearby, “I’m so sad I could die!”_

 

_“HEY QUIT IT YOU FREAK!”_

 

_“But you see,” The clown continued, removing himself from the tree with a sigh, “I can’t cry. I suppose my tears have all dried up.”_

 

_“Geez, what’s up with that..” The kid grumbled looking towards the dog's body again._

 

 _“W-What was the dog’s name. I mean, he licked my hand the other day and his tongue was warm.”_ _The boy asked and then paused as frustrated tears began to form in his silver eyes._

 

_The clown didn't answer but watched the boy with an eyebrow raised._

 

_“So how come.. How come I’m the one crying over here?!” The kid yelled before bawling his eyes out over the loss of a dog he’d barely even known._

 

_…_

 

* * *

 

“Mana was the first person who didn’t treat me like a monster.” Allen continued, feeling a strange pull in his heart as he spoke of his first real parent.

 

“Sure he was- a bit strange at first, but he took me in and brought me with him the next day, and we left the circus together. We travelled from city to city in each other’s company and it was with Mana when I first become ‘Allen.’”

 

“At that time in my life, Mana was my saving grace. Before I had met him I was feeling really suicidal. Even though I never told anyone about those feelings, they were still there. As a child I tended to hide everything behind anger. I guess I still do that now if I’m being honest, but instead of anger it became a smile.” Allen’s heart hurt as he knew what was coming next in his story. It was almost funny to him how after all this time it still hurt for him to talk about Mana.

 

“But good things don’t seem to last very long for me, I guess. My Master always said I was unlucky like that.”

 

“After a few months of travelling with Mana, we had become pretty close. He had taught me a few clown tricks along the way and we would perform on the street for some extra cash. I felt embarrassed at first wearing that stupid clown costume, but after a while, I got used to it. When I was with Mana, I was happy and that was a first for me so I wanted to latch onto it for as long as I possibly could without breaking it.”

 

“But slowly with each passing day, Mana started to lose himself. At the time I didn’t understand what was happening, maybe I still don’t today, but Mana had started to act differently. Instead of being his usual silly, yet caring self, he would start forgetting things, or scream hysterically in his sleep. He stopped sleeping after it got too unbearable for him and it was terrifying to watch him slowly fade away.

 

“He wasn’t doing well mentally and there was nothing that I could do to fix it. He was hurting and I felt powerless to save him.” Allen clenched his fist before releasing a shaky breath, “And then one day, it was too late. And he finally shattered to pieces.”

 

* * *

 

_It was a crisp autumn morning and Allen and Mana were walking hand in hand through town in search of a quick place to eat._

 

_Mana hadn’t slept at all that night and Allen knew that he was just pretending to be okay and keeping up appearances for his sake. That just made it hurt even more to watch. ‘Why couldn’t Mana tell him what was wrong?’_

 

_Allen looked away from his guardian, focusing instead on the cobblestone path beneath his feet. The birds were chirping in the air and leaves crunched with each step he took. He was deep in thought, worrying about his guardian’s health that he wasn’t paying close enough attention to his surroundings and what was in front of him._

 

_Before he knew it, a carriage pulled by a charging horse was headed straight towards him. Allen could only widen his eyes in shock as he was pushed out of the way and tumbled into a patch of grass before he heard a deafening crash and a crunch of bones._

 

_Having squeezed his eyes shut on an impulse, Allen quickly opened them and sat up from the grass to see a sight that would scar him forever. Mana has pushed him out of the way and had been hit head on by the horse and carriage. His limp body lay sprawled across the cobblestone and blood seeped from below he battered body and spread out across the street. Allen could only stare on in shock as the man he had come to love was laying dead before his very eyes. His ears were ringing and his head was spinning. He felt like he was going to be sick yet he couldn't take his eyes off of Mana’s body. Even laying there still and motionless, Mana’s corpse was smiling._

 

* * *

 

“Mana died that day. He was killed on impact. Mana...he had saved me at the risk of his own life.” _Why did he have to be so selfless? I should've been the one to die that day for being so reckless._

 

Allen’s eyes were hollow as he continued the story, “I was completely lost after that day. I had lost the only person in my life that had truly mattered to me, and I sat beside his grave for hours just staring at the words engraved on the tombstone.”

 

“Part of me couldn't believe that he was really gone and I desperately wanted to see him again.”

 

_The wind blew through his hair, the color of rust, as the boy stared blankly at the grave before him. ‘Mana, why did you have to leave me?’_

 

_The boy felt a presence appear a few feet away, but he made no indication that he’d noticed, still staring at his deceased father’s grave. That’s when the voice spoke up, making their presence known._

 

_“Hello there little boy. Do you wish for me to revive your precious Mana Walker?♡” The voice was gravelly yet whimsical at the same time, and Allen tilted his head slowly upwards to reveal a strange looking clown with long ears and sharp teeth smiling down at him and spinning a pumpkin umbrella between his fingers._

 

_Allen stared blankly at the creature, dried tears still apparent on his flushed face._

 

_“All you have to do is call out to him! Say his name, right now, and he’ll appear right before your very eyes!♡” The strange man seemed to be vibrating with excitement, and maybe Allen was too numb to care, but he nodded. Believing the creature’s words to be true, he called his beloved father’s name._

 

_“Mana.” he spoke softly which caused the clown to bellow in delight. Soon enough the ground before them was shaking and the strange creature fabricated a skeleton into thin air. Allen stepped back in shock as the letters ‘M’ ‘A’ ‘N’ ‘A’ were transcribed onto the skull’s forehead. Moments later, it spoke._

 

_“A...llen.” the skeleton spoke and Allen could barely contain his surprise as Mana’s voice came from the skeleton's mouth. ‘B-but how was this possible?’_

 

_“M-Mana?” Allen trembled as he reached forward to embrace his father before he was cut off by a harsh gust of wind._

 

_“ALLEN!” Wait why did Mana sound angry? “ALLEN YOU, YOU TURNED ME INTO AN AKUMA!”_

 

_Allen’s eyes widened even more, “An Akuma?” before he could say anything else, the skeleton of Mana came charging at him, screaming about how he’d turned him into an Akuma. Scared and confused, Allen felt a hot pain slice through the left side of his face over his eye as Mana attacked and screamed at him. “I CURSE YOU ALLEN! I CURSE YOU FOR TURNING ME INTO AN AKUMA!”_

 

_Petrified, Allen laid on the ground, blood dripping from his eye. He wasn’t sure what was happening before he felt a tingly sensation in his left arm that was currently hidden behind a mitten. Within seconds the cloth ripped apart and a green light emitted from his deformed hand. In an instant his arm grew three times its normal size and took the form of a large, gray clawed, talon that sent pulses of pain throughout his small body. In his state of shock, his arm acted on its own, heading straight towards the skeleton of Mana. He couldn't control his movements as his own hand ripped the skeleton apart._

 

_Finally finding his voice, Allen screamed Mana’s name._

 

_“MANA! PLEASE DON’T DO THIS! MANA RUN!”_

 

_Allen was trying to stop his arm from attacking Mana, but it wouldn't listen to him. “DAD! PLEASE, YOU NEED TO RUN!”_

 

_Slowly the skeleton turned its head to face the boy. Even though it held no eyes, its expression seemed resigned to its fate. Then it spoke, its velvet voice just like Mana’s._

 

_“Allen… I love you….”_

 

_The boy was shaking with tears now as he clung on to his father’s voice._

 

_“Now please, destroy me…”_

 

_Suddenly the eye that Mana had cut began to activate and Allen watched in horror as his hand pierced the skeleton’s body and the chained soul of Mana that was floating above the skeleton smiled down at him before the skeleton exploded and he drifting upwards into the air._

 

_“M-Mana?” Allen gasped in shock as he lay in the ground, covered in blood and utterly alone._

 

_…_

 

_‘There is no freedom for the soul within an Akuma. You are trapped within it for all eternity, and you become a toy for the Millenium Earl.’_

 

* * *

 

Of course Allen couldn't mention any of this on the phone, but just reflecting on it reminded him of his purpose. The main reason he hadn’t killed himself yet. It was because of his cursed eye and his deformed arm that he was able to see the point of his existence.

 

He had to keep moving forward. He _had_ to keep his promise to Mana and save the tortured souls of the Akuma while simultaneously protecting the people he cared about with his anti-akuma weapon.

 

Back then, Allen had been so determined. Even though it had taken a few months for him to get used to the idea of exorcists and Akuma, he was able to push through the days without feeling like he'd rather be dead. The life had finally started to come back into his dull, gray eyes back then. Allen had never thought he’d ever start to feel that way again because this was the path he was meant to be on, yet here he was, running away from his problems to come share his life story with a stranger on the phone in the middle of a snow storm.

 

Maybe Cross was right all along. He was an idiot.

 

The person on the other line hadn’t said anything for a while and it made Allen wonder if his story had scared them off. It was that or maybe they were just letting him vent. Either way, Allen wasn’t even sure if he felt any better than he had before he’d decided to make this phone call.

 

His voice sounded foreign in his own ears as he spoke into the phone.

 

“But it was silly of me to think that I could bring my loved one back. I was young and naive back then.”

 

“I’d like to think things have changed now, though. Even though I had lost Mana, I had found some determination to continue moving forward. I had met a man a short time after Mana’s death. He helped show me that I had something to live for even if I didn’t believe him most of the time. That man wasn’t always the best to be around, but he reluctantly took me in and started to train me. I realize now that I never got to properly thank him for that. It would've been easier for him to just let me die, but he saw some potential in me, I guess hah.”

 

“Though that man was a womanizing, drunk most of the time, I didn’t mind his company and after being with him for 3 years, I started to follow a new path where I ended up making a few new friends along the way.”

 

Allen smiled softly before clearing his thought, “Ah geez look at me talking so much.. I suppose I should wrap this up soon, huh?” He exhaled before looking up towards the sky. The glowing crescent moon above smiled down at him menacingly and Allen was reminded of something else. The Fourteenth.

 

“Well, I suppose there is something else that has been bugging me recently. It's a bit hard to explain, though, and I imagine you’ll consider me crazy once I admit this, but- recently I’ve been feeling like I’m.. not alone in my own head. It sounds strange, right?”

 

“It's like, every time I look into a mirror or happen a glance at my reflection in a body of water, I see a presence lurking in the shadows behind me. It’s unnerving because no one else can see it except for me. This ‘shadow’ smiles at me and invades my inner thoughts.” Allen glanced down at his hand in his lap before continuing, “Sometimes I feel like I’m someone else. My mind gets cloudy and I forgot who I am at times…”

 

“I often wonder if I will lose myself in the same way as Mana did.”

 

The wind blew through the air and rustled the leaves in the trees above.

 

All was silent and Allen could sense that the voice on the other line was about to speak, but before anything happened, Allen heard a loud crash, like the breaking of glass, from the building before him, and Allen whipped his head up towards the building to see a figure jump from a window and land a top a large Timcanpy.

 

Allen sputtered in shock and his phone fell from his hand and into the vast blanket of snow at his feet.

 

“M-Master?! Wha-What the heck are you doing here?!” He jumped up from the bench to point a finger at his Master who was acting as if this his grand entrance was normal.

 

“Idiot Apprentice,” He drawled exasperatingly as he fumbled his hand into his pocket to retrieve a cigarette and a light, “They insist that I stay in that damned room to rot away, but those pricks can’t keep me confined in there forever. Plus I needed a smoke.”

 

He held the cigarette to his lips and lit the end with a lighter before taking a hit and holding it in his mouth. After exhaling the smoke, he spoke again, this time turning to face Allen, “And why do I even need to explain myself to you, stupid brat?”

 

Allen grew aggravated at the insults and was fuming mumbling about ‘one of these days i’ll..’ before he was cut off.

 

“Stop mumbling.” His Master growled and was now standing a few steps away from the boy and kicked the kid in the face to cease his silent fuming. It was pissing him off. “Anyways, what are _you_ doing out here in the cold, Idiot Apprentice?” _Ha, turning the question on you brat how do you like that!_

 

Lifting his head from the snow, Allen was prepared to yell back before he was reminded of his phone that he’d dropped in the snow minutes before, “WHY I’M GONNA- Ah shit I forgot!” Allen kneeled down and quickly started searching through the snow for his phone, his Master shot him a confused look as he fumbled through the snow like a crazy person.

 

“What the hell are you doi-”

 

“AHA! I FOUND IT!” Allen smiled triumphantly as his hand wrapped around his lost phone, but his celebration was short lived when a boot came crashing towards his head once again.

 

“DON’T INTERRUPT ME, BOY!” The General shouted, knocking the boy back into the snow with a resounding huff.

 

Allen clutched his head in pain before shaking it off to glare at him Master, “Augh dammit what the hell was that for, Master?!”

 

“Are you deaf, brat?” He looked away and took another puff of his cigarette, “I said don’t interrupt me. You know how much I hate repeating myself.” He scowled.

 

Allen grumbled before turning his attention back to his phone. Quickly, he brushed the snow off of the device and hurriedly stood up and turned around, holding the object up to his ear. “H-hello? Hello, are you still there?”

 

There was silence on the other line and Allen pulled his phone away from his ear to realize it had stopped working, most likely due to the fact that it was sitting underneath the snow for a good handful of minutes, to collect moisture. Allen sighed, forgetting his Master was there for a moment, but was reminded when a gruff voice spoke up once again.

 

“Who were you calling?” He asked, innocently enough, but Allen was quickly on the defensive.

 

“Why do you care?” he grumbled out, turning around to semi-face his Master, his gloved hands still clutching his phone.

 

“I don’t, brat. Timcanpy was the one having a fuss about you coming out here alone. His persistent biting forced me to come and investigate, so be grateful.” He huffed sitting on the bench that Allen had been sitting on before.

 

As if on cue, Timcanpy, who had shrunk down to his normal size, was fluttering over to Allen ready to bite the boy’s finger off which caused Allen’s eyes to widened slightly. “Ahh Tim are you still mad at me for that?” He pouted a bit before dodging the golem’s attack and smiled slightly before patting the creature’s head in apology.

 

This seemed to do the trick as the golem happily nuzzled itself into its master’s face like a puppy would its owner. He knew he couldn’t stay mad at him forever.

 

“Well, are you going to answer my question from before, brat?”

 

Allen looked up before standing. “What question?” he asked, feigning confusion which only caused his Master to get aggravated.

 

Allen chuckled nervously before sitting down on the bench. He couldn’t tell Cross who he had been calling, the man would probably just make fun of him or something so he kept his mouth shut. Instead he looked forward, feeling reminiscent after his talk with that person on the phone. Even though he never really got his quote on quote ‘help’ from that phone call, he felt that he at least had some of the weight lifted off of his shoulders from just openly talking about his past to someone else. He glanced over at his Master who was staring straight ahead, blowing smoking up into the air, before he glanced down at his own hands in his lap. The snow had soaked through his gloves a fair amount and his hands were starting to feel a bit numb from the cold. The sensation brought Allen back to when he couldn't even move his left arm, but now he was killing Akuma and Noah alike with it. The same arm that people saw him as a monster for, was evolving with every battle and saving tortured Akuma souls from damnation. He should at least feel a little proud of that. He wondered if his Master was proud of him too.

 

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. I forgot there was something I wanted to say to you, Master.” Allen spoke softly, a far-away look in his eye as he watched the snow falling from the sky. Maybe it was the phone calls fault, but after being so vulnerable towards a complete stranger, Allen felt like opening up a bit.

 

Cross turned his head towards the boy, curiously, and he watched as Timcanpy nuzzled itself into the boy’s snowy hair.  

 

“I just wanted to say.. thank you, for not giving up on me.” He’s cheeks reddened a bit at the confession but Allen would rather blame it on the cold weather than on him being embarrassed.

 

The General’s eyes widened a touch at the sudden shift in conversation but the boy continued.

 

“I know you told me before that I shouldn’t be thanking you, but I can’t help it after all hah. After Mana, I wasn’t sure what my purpose was.. and if you hadn’t come when you did, I-” He paused and Timcanpy fluttered off of his head to sit in his lap. “I’m not sure what reckless thing I would’ve done..” He smiled bitterly and was almost caught off guard when he felt a hand ruffle his hair.

 

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit before the General removed his hand and grumbled out, “You don’t owe me anything, kid.” _I was just keeping my promise._ _But you’ll learn the truth soon enough._ He left that part unspoken.

 

Allen smiled and was reminded of a memory from their time as Master and Apprentice. “Master, do you remember that time in Poland when I had won my biggest pot in gambling yet?”

 

Cross smirked at the sudden mention of that night before blowing a puff of smoke into the air. “Of course I do. We ate better than we ever had that night.”

 

* * *

 

_It was raining hard outside the window of the luxury casino that Allen was seated in and he watched as torrents of rain fell from the sky and drops of moisture slid down the window making streaks on the stained glass._

 

_The lights in the casino would flicker every once in a while when there was a clap of lighting which made it all the more easy for Allen to cheat at his current Poker match. This grumbling fool that wrecked of pretentiousness had stormed in demanding a match with the boy after he’d heard how he cleaned out nearly everyone else in the bar the previous night. One of the men he’d defeated that night was the lackie to said Mr. Pretentious who happened to be a major card player in the area. The lackey had scurried off to tell his boss of the new threat to their gambling profits, Allen Walker, and in a show a testosterone, the burly man covered in tattoos and jewels was now challenging Allen to a one-on-one match for his whole pot of cash. 25,000 dollars._

 

_The man was cocky and obviously perceived Allen as nothing but a little kid, which made Allen all the more inclined to accept the man’s offer. It also didn’t help that Allen had never seen that much money in his entire life, so he was eager to destroy this man at cards and rob him of everything he was worth._

 

_The boy’s Master, on the other hand, was currently seated a few feet away at the bar sipping on wine and asking around for information. Usually on nights like this, the General was off searching for some women to fool around with, but today he was quite interested in his Apprentice’s Poker match._

 

_At the beginning of the game, Allen had let the man win so he would think he had the upper hand and the pot would simultaneously get larger and larger. Once the man started to get too cocky, Allen would destroy him. To make matters more entertaining, Allen played along to his ‘innocent little boy’ stereotype and acted as if he had no idea what he was doing, but behind the mask, he was grinning, excited to play this man for the fool that he was._

 

_If that man could act cocky, why couldn’t Allen act cocky too? He cleared his throat shifting his persona from innocent to dark as he glared over the top of his cards, staring straight at the man before him. “Hey mister, I would like to add a bit to our wager.~” The kid spoke up over the commotion of the casino and all eyes turned towards the table._

 

_His opponent, not noticing the shift in atmosphere, laughed at the kid before bellowing, “HA don’t make me laugh! But sure kid, you wanna add some candy and some toys to the pool? HAHAHA add whatever imaginary shit you want, there's no way I’d like a stupid brat like you beat me at a game like this.”_

 

_A grin broke out across Allen’s face and he licked his lips in anticipation. “No no, nothing like that.~ In addition to your 25,000 dollars in cash, the winner of this draw gets everything for free off of the menu at Atelier Amaro, and unlimited drinks for my Master.” Allen replied, venom laced between every word._

 

_General Cross tipped his wine glass in the air at the offer and narrowed his eyes behind his glasses. Damn this Apprentice of his could be brutal when it counted. Perhaps he wasn’t completely useless after all. He was looking forward to the results of this match._

 

_The man seemed shocked a bit at the sudden intensity, but his simple mind soon reverted back to his opinion of the boy being ‘just a dumb little kid’ that he foolishly agreed to the demands._

 

_“HAHHA! You stupid brat you make me laugh with your idiotic demands. Like I said before, I will not lose to the likes of a worthless brat like you so any demands you make are pointless to me since they won’t come true in the end.”_

 

_“Whatever you say, mister.~” Allen remained calm and he got a kick out of watching his opponent’s lackies cower a bit at his intense aura. Ah the joys of making grown men piss their pants in fear._

 

_“I’ll call!” The man yelled, clearly feeling overly confident in his hand as he’d made a show of revealing his cards to everyone in the vicinity before slamming them onto the table with such intensity that some stray poker chips flew up into the air with the momentum. “Four of a Kind! HAHAHA Now try and beat that, kid!”_

 

_Allen almost started laughing right then an there, but he kept himself composed. “A four of a kind you said? Wow how impressive!” Allen acted, pretending to be amazing as he continued to stroke this idiot’s ego before revealing his superior hand. “It’s such a shame though. For you that is.”_

 

_“Royal Straight Flush!” He called and spread his cards onto the table with such grace that caused many of the patrons of the casino to gasp and huddle around the table. Even Cross couldn't help but smirk behind his drink at the display._

 

_“Well then,” Allen continued, “if what I’m seeing here is correct, then you just lost to a little kid, isn't that right?” Allen spoke across the table. The cheeky brat._

 

_His opponent, who had been shocked silent, finally managed to find his voice. “WHAT?! NO IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!! THERE’S NO WAY A STUPID BRAT LIKE YOU COULD WIN AGAINST ME!!!!” The man was fuming and his lackeys were behind him trying to calm him down, but to no avail._

 

_Allen didn't even flinch at the outburst and slid his hand along the table to collect his ‘rightfully earned’ winnings._

 

_“NO! YOU CHEATED THAT’S THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD’VE POSSIBLY BEAT ME! I SPECIFICALLY MADE SURE YOU WERE DEALT THE WORST CARDS!” The man was having a fit across the table but Allen was already in possession of the money._

 

_“Are you done with your tantrum?” Allen dead-panned, “Why don’t you just face the facts already you old fart! You lost and I won. Plus you have no proof that I even cheated so you owe me and my Master some unlimited food and drink now!~”_

 

_Cross choked on his wine._

 

_Okay even Allen knew he was getting a bit brash, but he couldn't help himself. He blamed the cards for making him so dark at times like this._

 

_His opponent had been eerily silent for a while and Allen glanced over to see the man huddled up and orchestrating some type of attack with his crew. Wearily, Allen glanced at his Master to notify him that now was the time for them to make a run for it._

 

_Slowly, Allen leaned over to sneakily pass the money over to Cross without anyone noticing, and within an instant, Cross was running for the door. Allen dead-panned for a minute, ‘Geez his Master sure knew how to leave him behind…’ Quickly Allen charged for the door, but not before a fist came from the left and made contact with his cursed eye. Shit shit shit! Allen thought, hurriedly scrambling to his knees to focus on escaping. Thankfully a kind bar tender had blocked the kid from his attacker’s view and bought him just enough time to navigate his way across the floor and stay out of reach from more potential attacks. After a few seconds, Allen had safely made it out of the casino and was running for his life._

 

_Thankfully his master hadn’t gotten too far ahead, as he was known for doing many times in the past, and Allen was able to spot his long red hair even through the heavy downpour of rain. His heart was beating in his chest as he trailed behind Cross and the two quickly ducked into an alleyway after they had made it far enough from the casino._

 

_Allen leaned his back against the brick wall as he tried to catch his breath and droplets of rain clung to the tips of his hair as he kept his head down. He felt a hand land on the top of his head and the boy looked up to see his Master smirking down at him._

 

_“Nice work tonight, kid. Didn’t think you had it in you.”_

 

_Allen smiled brightly before a laugh made its way up his throat when he caught a good look at his Master’s appearance._

 

_“What? What’s so funny?” He questioned which made Allen laugh more._

 

_“You! You’re drenched in rain, Master, you look ridiculous!” He giggled behind his palm and he felt Cross’ hand push against his head slightly in protest._

 

_“Ah shut it, you're just as drenched as me, brat.” Even though he’d insulted him, Allen knew that there was no real malice behind his Master’s words. “Come on, let’s go cash in on that food and alcohol we were promised.” Cross straightened up and removed his hand from the boy’s head as the two carefully peeked their heads out of the alleyway to check for any signs of trouble. Thankfully the coast looked clear enough, and the two once again ran through the rain until they made it to the most expensive hotel in all of Poland, to check into an overly-priced suite, and order room service like the rich._

 

_Allen had a feeling that they’d blow through all their newly acquired riches in a single night, but right now he couldn't bring himself to care. Usually he’d want to stretch the money and make it last as long as possible, but his Master was the kind of person who’d rather live in the moment and have one amazing night rather than a few weeks of mediocre nights._

 

_When they got to the hotel Allen was floored by how pristine everything was. The walls were made of shiny, white marble and columns of gold lined the foyer leading towards the front desk. There was also a fountain smack in the center of the building, as well as a man in a white suit playing a melody on a grand piano in the lounge area. Allen felt way out of place in such a high-class environment that he almost felt bad for the trail of rainwater he was leaving on the tiled floors with each step._

 

_Cross handled the rooming situation and booked the penthouse suite with 2 beds and 1 bath. There was even a private elevator that lead to their room and Allen was in shock because he’d never even been in an elevator before and he was amazing that they were practically flying to their room rather than having to take the stairs. The previous inns and hotels that he and his Master had stayed at in the past were nothing like this. Granted, they didn’t win 25,000 dollars everyday, so of course this would be a once in a lifetime experience. Allen was almost surprised that his Master hadn’t kicked him out to spend this night of luxury with a beautiful woman instead, but Allen decided he wouldn't bring it up and hoped his Master had just forgotten._

 

_When they’d made it to their suite, Allen was once again blown away by such riches. He heard his Master laugh at him for getting so surprised over nothing, but Allen didn’t let that dampen his mood. Instead, he quickly took off his shoes and wet jacket, before running over to face plant on the soft bed near the window. It was still raining hard out, but the patter of raindrops on the roof was oddly soothing._

 

_Cross was off in the bathroom, probably changing into some clean clothes, and Allen sat up from the soft sheets to look at the view from their windows. From way up here he could see the whole city, and the people rushing amongst one another on the ground with their umbrellas raised towards the sky, almost looked like colorful flowers blooming across a wet, open field._

 

_Allen turned his gaze from the window when he heard a soft thumping coming from General Cross’ bag. Curious, Allen walked over to where he’d discarded it on a lounge chair and carefully zipped a compartment open to be assaulted by a flying golden sphere right in his face._

 

_Allen winced as the golem knocked against his eye that had started to bruise after that man at the casino had punched him in the face during his hasty escape. He’d almost completely forgotten about the injury until Timcanpy’s harsh reminder._

 

_“Ah watch it Tim that hurts.” the boy grumbled covered his left eye with his hand. The golem began circling around the boy before nuzzling into his hair to show that he was sorry and Allen couldn't help but sigh and forgive him._

 

_Cross walked out of the bathroom a moment later to see the boy with his hand on his left eye and he instantly went on the offensive. Akuma._

 

_“Where did you see an Akuma?” He questioned seriously, and Allen looked up, confused at his Master’s sudden question, before he quickly removed his hand from his eye and turned around._

 

_“Oh, no, there aren't any Akuma, Master, I just hurt my eye earlier when I was escaping the casino. It’s nothing really. Tim just-”_

 

_“Let me see.” Cross cut him off and was now sitting on the side of his bed motioning for the boy to come over and let him examine it._

 

_“Oh, y-yes of course, Master.” Allen complied, scrambling to his feet and feeling a bit awkward since it really wasn’t a big deal._

 

_Allen sat in front of his Master on the bed and closed his left eye to reveal the slowly forming bruise on his pale skin that covered the entireity of his eye and spread outwards to the space around it._

 

_“How did this happen?” His Master questioned and Allen tensed, which didn’t go unnoticed by his Master._

 

_“Well, um.. one of that guy's lackeys kinda.. punched me when I was escaping. It came out of nowhere but I realize it’s all my fault. I should've been more careful.” He fidgeted with his fingers and winced when Cross pressed on an especially tender part._

 

_“I see. Well then, it’s your lucky day. I’m feeling generous so I’ll take care of it for you. Go fetch me my bag that you were snooping in earlier.”_

 

_Allen’s eyes widened a bit, he was seriously being shocked left and right today, and with a sheepish grin he climbed off of the side of the bed and brought his Master’s bag back over to the bed._

 

_They sat in a comfortable silence as Allen sat still and as his Master treated his wound. In the end, the boy was left with a patch of gauze over his entire left eye so that the skin could properly heal instead of being left out in the open. Though Allen didn’t like only being able to see out of one eye, he didn’t complain._

 

_Allen was about to express his thanks to his Master, but before he could get a word out, his stomach emitted such a loud growl that he had to look away in embarrassment._

 

_Cross smirked at his idiot apprentice before standing up and walking over towards the phone to dial for room service. “Well kid, you said you wanted one of everything, right.” His Master stated rather than asked, and at the mention of food, Allen’s previous embarrassment faded completely and his eyes sparkled excitedly as he nodded his head frantically. Timcanpy mimicked the movements before landing happily on the boy’s head._

 

_“Fine, just this once.” Cross sighed as he began to place the order through the phone along with an unlimited supply of booze. Well, as unlimited as 25k could get you, that is._

 

_Allen remembered going to bed that night feeling both happy and full. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time._

 

* * *

 

Allen smiled as he recalled the memory. “Even though we blew through all that money in one night, it was still really nice for the day.”  

 

“Next time win a bigger pot then and it’ll last longer, Idiot Apprentice.” Cross grumbled before standing up to stretch. His joints were starting to hurt from sitting down all this time.

 

“Somehow I find that hard to believe.” Allen dead-panned and watched as Timcanpy fluttered around in the air catching the final flakes of fallen snow with his teeth.

 

“Come on, brat. Let’s go inside. It’s too cold to stay out here all night.” General Cross spoke into the air and Allen agreed. He was pretty sure his whole body had gone numb at this point.

 

“Alright, come on Tim.” Allen called as he stood up and followed his Master back into the warmth of the Black Order with Timcanpy fluttering behind.

 

Allen kicked off some excess snow from his boots and closed the door behind him as Tim landed softly in his hair.

 

“Now where the hell is that party that no one felt the need to invite me to, hmm?” His Master grumbled and Allen couldn’t help but smile slightly.

 

“Didn’t you hear? It was a ‘We Hate Marian Cross Party’ so it would’ve been a bit awkward if we invited you.” Allen teased and his Master grumbled, not in the mood to deal with his Apprentice’s snide comments right now. Instead, he just needed some booze.

 

Technically Allen and Cross weren’t supposed to be near one another, as per rules from the higher-ups, but they were still having a party after all so it's not like anyone would care that much if they saw the two of them walking together. Well, almost everyone. Once the pair had made it to the front door of the cafeteria, the bass of the music through the walls being the first thing the two heard, the General pushed the doors open to reveal, quite literally, a mess.

 

The first thing Allen noticed was that everyone appeared to be drunk off their asses, either slumped against tables or wobbling across the dance floor trying to act as sober as possible. The second thing he noticed was that Komui’s robot, Komlin III, was covered in binds and currently smashed up against a wall, unmoving. The third thing he noticed was a certain CROW who was angrily marching his way towards him, already prepared to reprimand the boy for sneaking off. _Geez, if he looks pissed now he’ll surely go into hysterics when he notices that Master is here too._ Allen thought bitterly but thankfully his Master had already made a beeline for the bar and was helping himself to whatever the cafeteria had to offer in the booze department. _How predictable._

 

“Mister Walker!” A shrill voice broke Allen away from his musing and he looked up to see Link standing right in front of him with an accusing finger pointed straight at his face. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in for sneaking out of here when I’m suppose to be keeping a constant surveillance on you?!”

 

Allen groaned.

 

Would it kill Link to let loose a little? It’s not like Allen was going to turn into the Fourteenth and suddenly kill everyone in the Order... _At least, he hoped he’d never do something like that._

 

“Mom- I mean, Link, calm down. It’s not like I left without telling anyone.. I told Lenalee where I was going so it’s not that big of a deal.” Allen sighed and made his way over to his friends, leaving an aggravated Link sputtering behind him.

 

“Alleeennnn~” Lavi cooed as said boy made his way over to the table that his usual trio were seated at, all looking a bit drunk, even Kanda, which was surprising.

 

“Hey, Lavi.” Allen smiled before glancing around the room, “What’s up with everyone? Did someone spike the punch or something?” Allen asked half-jokingly but he could have sworn he heard a wail that sounded vaguely like Miranda in the background at his comment.

 

Lavi stumbled across the table so that he was practically grabbing onto Allen, as he sloppy whispered (read: yelled) into the boy’s ear.

 

“I dunno’ maaann I was just tryna start this sick dance battle and I gotta tell youu..” He paused, still clinging onto Allen’s entire body before he grinned, “I tooootttally kicked Yuu’s ass at the robot!”

 

Allen snorted as he tried to picture what exactly that looked like in his head, and before he could comment on it, Mugen appeared out of nowhere making a dash at Lavi’s head, but instead of making contact with flesh, ended up formed a crater in the table as Lenalee pulled the Usagi away at the last moment.

 

“I’ll kill you you stupid rabbit.” Kanda glared from across the table and even Allen shivered a bit at the seriously cold threat. Usually Kanda’s threats of homicide had no real bite them, but I guess when Kanda was drunk all beats were off.

 

“Kanda, Lavi! I said no fighting already! You two never listeeennn!” Lenalee whined before she got up to sit closer to Allen to avoid the drama between the Bookman Junior and the serial killer.

 

“I distracted Mr. Stick in the Mud for ya,” Lenalee whisper-yelled as she jabbed a finger back towards Link who was currently arguing with General Cross at the bar, “are ya proud? You took suupper long to come back though. I missed ya!” Lenalee pouted and Allen smiled.

 

“Thanks for that Lenalee, I really appreciate it.” Allen smiled kindly at her and Lenalee felt her face heat up before she quickly turned away to down another glass of punch.

 

The party was practically over at this point, and the remaining exorcists, scientists, and finders composed themselves enough to drag themselves out of the cafeteria and back towards their respective rooms. They all had to wake up early tomorrow morning anyways to gather up their last bits of belongings and get ready to move, so maybe in hindsight it wasn’t the best idea to throw a party the night before moving day. Well, what’s done was done and there was nothing they could do about it now. It’s not like half of the parties occupants would even remember the previous night since no one seemed to be sober except for Allen, Cross, and a few others.

 

 _‘What an...interesting(?) night..’_ Allen thought to himself as he was dragging Lavi’s limp body towards his room before unceremoniously tossing him in and heading back towards his room, with Link following right behind him. Allen almost forgot about his previous feelings of suicide and helpness. Maybe that talk on the phone and that moment with Cross outside really had helped him. Eh, who knows.

 

Allen also couldn't help but be a little bummed that he never got to finish his conversation with that person on the phone. Part of him was curious about what advice the anonymous bystander had for him...

 

* * *

 

That next morning Allen woke up bright and early and stretched his arms a bit before quickly sitting up and sneezing. That was strange why was he snee- oh. Oh no.

 

“Walker?” Link questioned from the futon next to the young exorcist's bed, and repeated himself when his charge didn’t respond. “Walker, what's wrong with you?”

 

Allen sighed before flopping back into his bed. “Dammit all.” He mumbled and threw an arm over his head to cover his face from the peeking sunlight through the blinds of his window.

 

“What? What is it?” Link pushed, reaching towards his notebook in preparation to jot something down involving Allen and his Fourteenth transformation, but instead, the exorcist removed his hand from his face to reveal a slightly red nose and glossy silver eyes set in a look of defeat.

 

“I think I caught a cold..”

  
  
 


End file.
